As I watch the rain pours down outside & hesitantly allow myself to sink into some uncomfortable feelings of grief - I am reminded of rainbows that come after storms.
.
🌈 like my rainbow baby who was born healthy after two back to back devastating losses
.
🌈 like the pearls of wisdom I get after trudging through the dark messy storm of recovery
.
🌈 like the lightness that returns after surviving a loss that felt so huge it stole my breath and threatened to suffocate me
.
🌈like the marriage built on honestly and authenticity I am in now after my first one crumbled into lies and betrayal
.
🌈there have been so many rainbows....
. ☁️ Yet in the center of the dark storm it feels like the light will never return. I am fearful of allowing the feelings in, fearful I will sink so low I won’t be able to come back up for air. So my instinct is to run away from the feelings. To focus on my body and what I think needs to be changed. I have urges I thought I was done with. Thing is- returning to the past unhealthy behaviors will only only only make me sink lower. I know that from doing it too many times. .
⛅️ recovery is about learning to allow in the feelings, learning to sit through the discomfort, learning I am strong enough to withstand it, trusting it will eventually heal, and letting others in all along the way. .
🌈 ☁️⛈ so here is to everyone out there who is currently in the storm. You’re not alone. You can withstand it and you will come out the other side. And don’t forget about the rainbows after the storm.
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