Hi! I’m Lisette.
After decades of battling with food and body, I am finally living freely.
Sadly, my story isn’t unique. I got the memo early on that “smaller is better” when it comes to bodies in our society. As I watched loved ones yo-yo diet, I played with barbies, and cut out phrases like “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” from magazines. (What a crock of shit that was).
I started trying to control my weight in high school and had a full blown eating disorder (that I was in total denial of) part way through college. After my first semester of graduate school (I was studying to be a therapist), I went to treatment for the first time. I was given a “target weight” by well meaning but ill informed professionals who reinforced the myth that my size determined my health.
I viewed this target weight as a maximum and I danced around it for the next two decades. Thinking I was “in recovery” I continued to obsess about food, weight, calories, and my body. This “middle space” of recovery was its own form of unique hell.
While I abstained from some “ed behaviors,” keeping my body small was a full time job consisting of rigid rules, a harsh inner critic, and constant worry and fear. Anytime I faced a life stressor, I plummeted head first back into the eating disorder. I worked with children and adolescents as a therapist, while running from my own shadows. I married, divorced, and then married again. When my first son was born, I became a stay at home mom.
As my life changed, one thing remained constant: my fear of food and my disgust with my own body.
Life was exhausting. Chasing the ever elusive recovery seemed nearly impossible. Watching others seemingly “normal” relationships with food, I wondered what was wrong with me. Hours were lost in the grocery store reading labels searching for the “perfect” yogurt. I never found it. I avoided social events that revolved around foods, dreaded family meals, and hated eating around anyone else.
Despite getting married and having the family I’d always dreamed of, my obsession with food and my body only got worse as time went on. I thought I had everything I’d always wanted and “should” be happy. Constantly I thought to myself, “I know what I need to do with food, but just can’t make myself do it. “
Every day I woke up with dread, wondering how I could eat the least amount of food possible. It wasn’t until one cold winter day when I fell to my knees in despair that I realized something had to change. I could not keep living this way.
I’d spent more than half my life fighting my body and fearing food. I didn’t want to spend another 2 decades hating myself because of my weird food issues.
This time, I took a deep dive into recovery and my eyes and heart were blown open when I learned the truth that I was never meant to control my body size. When I realized diet culture perpetuates fat phobia and that this is a social justice issue- I found a fire deep in my belly to recover.
I knew it would take radically accepting my body at any size. But I also knew the alternative was a hell I was no longer willing to drown in.
Today I am wildly present in my juicy life. I make authentic connections with family and friends and am living a life of freedom I truly never imagined possible.
Able to feed myself nourishing and satisfying meals, I literally stop thinking about food once a meal is over. Rather than making decisions based on what others might think of me, I listen to the gentle whispers of intuition to guide me.
Instead of focusing on calories and weight, my brain’s energy focuses on how to make this world a better place.
Now I go out to eat with friends and focus on conversations at the table instead of calories on my plate. The scale and the size of my pants no longer determine my mood or sense of worth. And I wake up excited about the day.
I now understand there was never anything wrong with my body. That bodies naturally come in all shapes and sizes.
And my goal is to help others understand that they no longer need to shrink their bodies or their lives.
I’ve written for Recovery Warriors since 2017 and was the Editorial Manager for 13 months. In Spring 2022 I became Certified as a Weight Neutral Coach and a Diet Recovery Coach from The Center for Weight Neutral Coaching.
I’m passionate about helping folks break free from diet-culture so they can live a life aligned with their soul’s purpose. Whether you’re stuck in the yo-yo dieting cycle of hell, struggling with the diet/binge cycle, or are someone with a history of an eating disorder who’s in “recovery” but still not at peace with your food or body…. I want to help you.Lisette Hoschek
Other random stuff about Lisette:
- I’m quirky, clumsy, and extremely sentimental.
- Sometimes when I’m signing my children’s agendas for school, I imagine I’m a rock star signing autographs for adoring fans.
- My fave foods include: pickles, spaghetti, chocolate, and ice cream.
- A hippie at heart and a middle child, I’ve spent my life questioning why we can’t just all get along.
- I’ve broken a ridiculous amount of bones, sometimes more than one at a time.
- I cannot carry a tune, but love almost all genres of music. Country music is my favorite and I often use it to “teach” my children life lessons in “mommy school.”
- As a recovering perfectionist I’m chronically disorganized but almost always at least five minutes early wherever I go.
- I believe you’ve found this site for a reason and I’m grateful you’re here.
When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.Wayne Dyer
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Life’s a dance… you learn as you go.Allen Shamblin and Steve Seskin